“Dadvice” : Dad Advice to My College Freshman Daughter
Anna Bailey, you know I’m awkward.
So, when we were leaving your freshman dorm this weekend and I said, “Be good! But if you can’t be good, be good at it!” Of course that’s terrible advice. It was just a deflection from what I was really feeling inside. But nobody needed to see all of that dad-emotion anyway. So, crisis averted.
Since then, I’ve tried to jot down everything I wanted to say in that moment. I don’t think it’s too sappy. Just stuff I need you to know, and stuff I needed to say but couldn’t.
So, here goes, my #dadvice, in no particular order:
Arrive at class/work at least ten minutes early. Margin is a gift to the soul. (I’m not great at this, but maybe you will be able to conquer the punctual game!)
Don’t miss curfew. And if/when you do, be kind and gracious to whoever catches you.
Don’t hesitate to say “I’m sorry.” These are words rarely spoken today, and when said with a pure heart of contrition, they soften the one you wronged.
Oh, and don’t miss curfew a second time.
Say your prayers. Even when you don’t feel like it. He always listens. Always.
Be friends with a lot of people from different walks of life. That’s the real world. Appreciate the diversity.
Listen to other people’s opinions. Be respectful. Think about their perspective. Then make your own decisions. Be principled. Disagreeing with someone does NOT mean you have to dislike them.
Date several guys. Find out who gels with you. I don’t care what people say, this doesn’t make you a whore; this makes you picky. Don’t settle. You’re worth it. Be picky.
However often you think calling home is appropriate, do it just a few more times than that. That’ll make your mama smile.
Don’t open up a credit card, even for the free t-shirt. I promise you that shirt ain’t worth it. And it’s never free.
Ask people questions. Let them do the talking. You’ll learn a lot if you listen more than you speak.
Don’t brag. Ever. If you’re doing something noteworthy, people will notice. You won’t need to bring it up. Stay humble.
And don’t do stuff just to be noticed. Do it because it’s the right thing to do. Even if no one is watching.
Clean your dorm room before Parent Weekend and spray some “smell good”. Your mama will think it’s been like that the whole time.
Laundry sucks. Go ahead and begin hating it now. But you still gotta do it at least once a week.
Go to the men’s and women’s sporting events (and of course the rodeos) on campus. There’s something about the camaraderie and school spirit that only sports can manifest.
Keep your nose clean.
Get to know your professors. I mean, be respectful and engaged during class. But after class, don’t be afraid to ask them questions about school and life. Great teachers love engaging with students who want to learn.
Get a part time job. Working 10-20 hours a week will give you a little pocket money and somewhere to be. It’ll make your school work even more productive. And work hard no matter the job.
Be grateful. Not everybody gets this opportunity.
Be kind to the cafeteria workers. They’re usually salt of the earth folk who know more than you’ll ever learn in college.
Don’t forget where you come from and never be embarrassed of your hometown. Your family is made up of teachers, sales folk, a linemen, a pastor, and farmers. We ain’t rich. We’ve worked hard and we’ve been incredibly blessed. Own it. It’s you.
Try a campus ministry and/or a local church. I know you’re thinking, “of course you would say that.” But for real. You’re gonna have fun; I get that. But there’ll be times where a spiritual mentor and some guidance from above will be the only thing that soothes the soul.
No matter what they tell you, there’s no cure for a hangover. So, try to avoid those.
Show compassion to those in need. Give when you can. One day it could be you. And whatever you do, don’t think of yourself more highly than them. Every human deserves dignity.
Don’t be afraid to change your major. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Just study hard, the rest will come.
Don’t get pulled into the trap of friend-drama. Life is too short for pettiness. Forgive and move on.
And remember, I love you & I’m proud of you. No matter what. We’ve got your back and we’re only a phone call away.
Oh and…
Gee Haw Whoa Back, Give ‘em Hell ABAC.
